| (no subject) |
[May. 17th, 2006|01:37 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  indifferent | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the rocket summer playing in my head | ] |
so.
i'm contemplating starting this journal ONCE again because i need some type of outlet for my thoughts. I have three options:
a) start this again and censor what is said in it..which sucks
b) type in a word document...which is boring
c) start a new composition notebook ... which is hard because i'm lazy
opinions, anyone? |
|
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| she cheated, fuckin cheated. |
[Mar. 4th, 2006|06:46 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  hungry | ] |
| [ | music |
| | RENT | ] |
ummmmmmmmm this journal blows
i started a new, real, composition-notebook old school style one on the train last night.
and i talked to a nice boy from temple who also lives in CT.
it was a fine ride..minus the delay, but whatever.
so yeah..i'm going out with the love of my life colleen mcdermott tonight.
that'll be funnn :)
and dinner is coming soon and i'm excciteedd.
but yeah, i'm done cause theres nothing else to write.
and i'm saving it for my real journal.
so sorry...this online one is gonna be lammmee. |
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| inner thoughts |
[Feb. 27th, 2006|12:06 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | meh | ] |
| [ | music |
| | none, unfortunately | ] |
ugh i can feel myself starting to get stressed and i don't like it.
my sunday was stressful today, right from the beginning.
but it got better..just the first half was a little annoying.
between waking up and finding my shampoo and conditioner on my door and hallway,
and then my wash basket being stolen out of the laundry room.
ugh. so annoying. but it was still an okay day.
played video games with vinnie, went to church and dinner with ben,called and talked to mom,
watched grey's with the j-rome (and kath.) girls.
and i'm excited to go home this coming weekend to see everyone and just sleep a lot.
and stop being a drunk too.
i just thought to myself how sad it was gonna be when i can't drink everynight this week.
because i have stuff due..and i have to figure out how to get home.
ajdfgnk. i hate having to figure out how i'm getting home.
especially when i have no money for the train.
when i don't even want to take the train home..i wish mom had time to just pick me up.
but that's annoying, i know, and i have to suck it up. and i will.
and yeah..just a lot of stuff to be done this week.
and i just want everything to be over. |
|
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| guess what? i'm done. |
[Feb. 24th, 2006|12:30 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  good, but not that angel kind. | ] |
| [ | music |
| | jack's mannequin | ] |
last night was a good night
we sang rugby songs at a nonrugby event.
my friends thought i was drunk off of one beer
i'm glad wister wasn't open last night, cause woodstock was fun shit.
i'm sitting in a towel right now, just listening to jack's.
i didn't listen in lit. class today at all, so
instead i just wrote lyrics on my notebook.
i think i have rooming situated for next year
i have alcoholic class today and i'm not even bothered by it.
i tried to take a picture message last night of a movie poster,
and then send it to the person who i just saw the movie with,
but my flash wasn't working.
and i'm glad it didn't work.
because it felt good to walk away last night
TGIF times like twenty. |
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| but i'm not sleeping, and you're not here. |
[Feb. 21st, 2006|02:06 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  busy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the rocket summer | ] |
borrrrredd at work
lets see.
i woke up to vinnie being realy weird and im-ing me about not
keeping things inside and some other stuff. it was good advice,
but i'm not upset or anything. so no worries vin!
thenn i enjoyed doing horribly at a philosophy test.
but i'm not too concerned about it, even though it's 40% of our grade.
whatever. theres better things to worry about in life.
next was comm. class..took a survey about alcohol on campus and our drug and
alcohol habits...that was amusing. it looked like i was an alcoholic hahah.
thennn i ate lunch and am now at work. woooooo.
listening to music, talking online, handed in my speech..you know.
now i'm gonna watch saved by the bell while these little kids run around
at their swim meet here..jesus, it's like i'm babysitting today. |
|
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| I am wasted but I'm ready |
[Feb. 19th, 2006|11:41 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  meh | ] |
| [ | music |
| | ben kweller | ] |
alright..so i've been really happy lately.
butt alas. there was a damper to my happiness tonight.
but no fears--because it was minor and temporary.
i hope.
but no really. i think it's because i have a lot of work to do in
the next three days. which isn't cool.
like my biggest concern is my informative speech on wednesday.
but i did my powerpoint at vinnies tonight, so thats one less thing to do.
and then i have a philosophy test on tues.
and yeah. those are my two big things.
and then theres the internal, the stuff i refrain from putting in here.
yeah, that's bothering me right now.
but i decided to not let it. and just let it be.
and hopefully things will go smoothly.
buutt what else..i miss home. yeah, thats weird too. i miss my brothers, my mom, my frizzle, my collleeenn!
but i'll be home soon enough, so no worries, and i'm gonna enjoy being here.
alright..this is getting boring. my life is boring right now. that's a lie. it really isn't. |
|
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| it's the eye of the tigerrr |
[Feb. 17th, 2006|10:18 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  okay | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Serena's radio show | ] |
soooo i'm staying in on a friday night cause i have a lot to do
and a busy saturday tomorrow!
i'm going shopping with hopefully my roommates next year Lauren and Liz, and Christine, and then me and Christine are spending the night at Drexel w/ Carizzle!! It should be a good time, i'm excited.
so this past wasted wednesday and thirsty thursday was fun
buttt i decided i'm not gonna write about it cause this journal is just turning into
me talking about how big of a lush, irish drunk i am.
sooo either you just ask me what kind of events went on, and how stupid i acted,
orrr you just take my word that i had a good time.
yeah..but i have a lot of work to do this week and next week,
but theres also a lot of fun stuff in between, so either way i'm gonna be good i'm sure.
i'm trying to grow my hair out..but i don't know..its transforming into the ugly stage real fast.
and i think my face is too fat and round for long hair again. buttt we'll see.
okay. so. what else.
ugh. somethings bothering me tonight sorta..but i think its just cause i'm not out getting wasted.
it's not the alcohol thats bothering me, so don't think i need the alcohol or anything, cause i don't.
but its just annoying.
whateverrr i don't like talking about my reeeeal life in here.
so i'm gonna go do a load of wash! wooo! |
|
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| slide your feet create the shock |
[Feb. 13th, 2006|11:11 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | content | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the rocket summer | ] |
akhgblajhbf i just lost my whole entry!!!!!! gahhh i hate when that happens!!!!!!!!
live a little and live a lot
i'm in such a rocket summer mood..i can't even shake it. i love it.
what else did i write that i now forget because of me losing my stupid entry...
good news! : rugby practice starts tomorrow!
bad news! : i'm prob not gonna stop doing stuff til like 6 pm tomorrow night!
i just talked to my mom for like 47 minutes..that was nice..but i feel like shes lonely so that makes me sad
and it makes me wish i wanted to go home..or could go home..i don't know..my brothers should be around more
but they're not..but i guess i cant really blame them...kagbngfjhg
oo valentines day is tomorrow..so happy vday everyone and i love you!!
i think its really stupid when people don't like valentines day or they are bitter on v-day just cause they don't have a boyfriend
or girlfriend...but honestly, thats not all it has to be about.
i see valentines day as a day to tell the people you love that you love them. just a reminder. no need to
have a significant other..sure it's nice when you do..but really, family and friends are all i need.
well..that about sums up my wisdom for tonight..i should probably go study for that comm. test now.
ahh i almost forgot! i pierced my ear! woo. |
|
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| YES! |
[Feb. 12th, 2006|01:18 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sore | ] |
| [ | music |
| | sully bitching | ] |
| You Are Barney | 
You could have been an intellectual leader...
Instead, your whole life is an homage to beer
You will be remembered for: your beautiful singing voice and your burps
Your life philosophy: "There's nothing like beer to give you that inflated sense of self-esteem." |
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| woaaaah cause you just gotta know. |
[Feb. 9th, 2006|07:13 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bouncy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the rocket summer! | ] |
i have no self control. i just wanna let everyone realize that, cause i didn't last night, when i literally got dragged to a party.
however, it was reeeeeeallly fun and i'm really glad i went.
and me and vinnie enjoyed american idol and a power hour/six beers for me before hand.
so i was good to go, and the smirnoff and jungle juice and additional beer didn't help my sobriety.
but today was a really good day. minus the really shitty-ness in my body from last night.
i was just really happy today..i don't know why. i think it's cause i had so much fun last night
last night consisted of: "i'm so sweatpants right now!"=me in sweatpants at a PARTY. very underdressed.
me sitting on the washing machine in the basement introducing myself to everyone who went to the keg.
strobe light!
basically me speaking...i was pretty ridiculous.
and finally ending the night with chasing vinnie around north halls with sully.
always a good time at La Salle.
today. busy.
the only bad thing about today was at the rugby meeting when i found out my two coaches aren't coming back.
it was really sad, and they're really awesome and i'm gonna miss them a lot.
i almost shed a tear..cause its really sad.
so thats one bad thing about rugby...other than that, rugby is the love of my life.
bless your heart you've made me happy again
it's been so long and i don't wanna pretend |
|
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| can we keep it together? |
[Feb. 8th, 2006|12:16 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cold | ] |
| [ | music |
| | guster | ] |
SO i need to stop drinking.
i drank sunday, monday, tuesday, am gonna try not to go out tonight, and then thursday is gonna be awesome.
sunday = superbowl at vinnie's.
monday = gamma sig white trash party, good times.
tuesday = sig ep stoplight stupid party with bridget and lauren and all the other girls. also good times, i'm glad my radio show got cancelled so that i could go with them!
tonight = doing some homework for a first, and maybe watching wedding crashers like i've been meaning to.
thursday = me and bridget are gonna drink before/during our intramural bball game...i mean come on, our game is at 11:30!! what do they want us to do, give up thirsty thursday?! hell no. so that should be exciting, i'm looking forward to it. <3 rugby girls.
in other news: i'm enjoying school a lot, and have recently been thinking about not wanting to leave, and thinking about how much i'm gonna miss it over the summer. Then that got me thinking about australia in the fall, and I just don't know..its so soon..and everyone tells me i should wait til junior year, and i agree, but i don't want to let jill down. so thats a little stress on me, cause applications are due march 17th, which i havent even looked at yet. guess i'll have to write out my pros and cons list like normal..i don't know what to do. |
|
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| yessssss |
[Feb. 5th, 2006|12:21 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | content | ] |
| [ | music |
| | saves the day | ] |
| You Are Animal | 
A complete lunatic, you're operating on 100% animal instincts.
You thrive on uncontrolled energy, and you're downright scary.
But you sure can beat a good drum.
"Kill! Kill!" |
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|
|
| if you leave |
[Feb. 5th, 2006|02:26 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | blah | ] |
| [ | music |
| | nada surf | ] |
wow so i was looking through old journal entries and found this quote:
you can breathe, you can breathe now
you can breathe but the air is running out.
and it clicked
i could breathe again for a few weeks, but now
i can't breathe again, and it all makes sense
..sorta. |
|
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| if and when i rid myself of this clouded mind... |
[Feb. 1st, 2006|05:05 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sleepy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | relient k | ] |
DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAR VINNNNNNNNNIE,
wow i'm really tired cause i just woke up from a well needed nap
because i got really drunk really fast last night at your house!
we played a lot of beer pong, and i really sucked at it.
(i swear i'm normally better than that)
and you kept blowing my ball out of the cup! i was getting kinda mad at
that cause you did it like ten times at least. but whatever,
bitches blow.
and you're a bitch! :D
i kept telling you i'd write you a letter
or even a book last night.
and i think we need to play more online scrabble more often.
oh- anyone find out about their missing mini heineken?!
well if they did, tell them thanks love biss!
i'm gonna go do my homework cause apparently we're having a rematch
tonight!!!!
i'm verrry excited, but hoping i'm not a stupid two beer queer again.
thank you for putting up with my drunk ass and being my big sis!
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE YOU VINNNNNNNNIEEEEEEEE,
biss |
|
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| these eyes, they're strongly convered in disguise |
[Jan. 31st, 2006|02:28 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  happy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the early november | ] |
Well, you're just across the street
Looks a mile to my feet
I want to go to you
Funny how I'm nervous still
I've always been the easy kill
I guess I always will
Could it be that everything goes 'round by chance?
Or only one way that it was always meant to be
You kill me, you always know the perfect thing to say
I know what I should do, but I just can't walk away
I can picture your face well
From the bar in my hotel
I wish I'd go to you
I pick up put down the phone
Like your favorite Heatmeiser song goes
It's just like being alone
Oh God, please don't tell me this has been in vain
I need answers for what all the waiting I've done means
You kill me, you've got some nerve, but can't face your mistakes
I know what I should do, but I just can't turn away
So go on love
Leave while there's still hope for escape
Got to take what you can these days
There's so much ahead
So much regret
I know what you want to say
I know it but can't help feeling differently
I loved you, and I should have said it
But tell me just what has it ever meant
I can't help it baby, this is who I am
Sorry, but I can't just go turn off how I feel
You kill me, you build me up, but just to watch me break
I know what I should do, but I just can't walk away
-Jimmy Eat World - "kill" (download it if you don't know it, soo good!)
okay sorry i'm really obsessed with that song and lyrics right now.
and today in philosophy i learned that you can't control your feelings, because feelings are emotions, and my professor pointed out the base word of emotions--motion..like a wave or something.
i don't know..i was really interested in it cause it makes sense in my life right now,
and i was suprised how random stuff always clicks in my life...it's kinda weird actually.
but yeah..i really am enjoying my philosophy class -- it's probably my favorite.
okay..i'm gonna try to do some homework while i'm at work now..enough of my vauge-ness. |
|
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| do you notice i'm gone? |
[Jan. 29th, 2006|07:40 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  chipper | ] |
| [ | music |
| | finch | ] |
oh MAN good times last night!!!!! me and my long lost twin sully fuckin OWNED at beer pong at the crew's toga party. heres so recaps of what i remember:
-jill being drunk off of her tequila
-the really cute tiny heineken bottle i took and drank from vinnies
-the jerks we played at beer pong who turned nice at the end
-BRING IT BACK BRING IT BACK!
-purple striped togas, and simpson togas
-"I had those sheets!"
-that girl no one knew at vinnies
-rocks paper scissors SHOOT...damnit, i lost again..
-me not even knowing how i got so drunk
-vinnie putting my picture as her background on her computer
-bye bye ms. american pie...
-tripping on sidewalks
-"wheres north dorms?"
-kings
-vinnie making me chug a beer in the hayman center parking lot
-my sucking at the hand slap game
-"What is this red stuff? o fuck it watever...im drinkin it"
ughhhhhh good TIMEEESSSS!
okay for real, i need to do some homework for the first time in my life.
and call mom cause i miss her! i'm gonna tell her about my toga party whether she likes it or not!!!
:) |
|
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| question yourself are you really what you seem? |
[Jan. 28th, 2006|09:28 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  thirsty | ] |
| [ | music |
| | dispatchhhhh | ] |
woooooooooooooooooooooo
bored.
tryinggg to figure out what to do tonight...
i wanna get crunkkeedddd but i don't know where at
i'm not even gonna bother writing the options here, but yeah, theres not many
umm what else
i got written up the other night.......hah. lets see how THAT goes..
not too worried about it, cause in the end, it was another fun night with the rugby girls, so it worked out.
i'm looking for people to play edward fourty hands with me, any takers?!
i'm also looking for new drink suggestions, because vodka and a version of cranberry juice is gettin old real fast. so what do my fellow readers drink?? leave some comments for ideas.
alright..now that this entry has been completely alcohol related, i'm gonna go drink some.
pizzle! |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jan. 26th, 2006|01:51 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | content | ] |
| [ | music |
| | none unfortunately.. | ] |
whew.
i've been in a good mood lately..not like amazing moods, but happy
besides that i'm officially sick again..my immune system blows, and i want to trade it in for a new one.
i don't really think thats possible.
i should have gone to the doctors over break despite my mom not making me an appt.
however, i'm eightteen now and need to learn to get over my fear of calling places and grow up for five minutes.
oh well. i'm sure either way i'd still be sick
ANYWAY
in other news: i have been hanging out with some different people lately, which is good!
im working on not depending on others as much, especially a specific set of people..and i think i've been doing well at it.
me and oc finally had our discussion which was put off for about 398364587 months, but none the less, i think it went sorta well..(promiseee).
oh a funny thing i heard yesterday....someone thought that i was all into liking girls now because i've been hanging out with girls who like other girls recently. haha. i enjoyed the comment.
yeah what else...i realllllllly wanna hang out with ding like really soon cause i MISS HERRRR! so hopefully we can hang out. (hint hint ding i know you're reading this.... :)
okay..i'm gonna go do my job. and sit some more. laterr
You can breathe, you can breathe now
You can breathe, but the air is running out.
these lyrics just keep sticking in my head. |
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bissy's journal